Friday, November 27, 2015

Will You Be My Neighbor....Will You Be My Friend...?

It's been said that there are only six degrees of separation between any individual and another - on the entire planet. 

That certainly can seem to be the case here in the Congo. It has always amazed me that wherever I go in this huge, sprawling mass of humanity, and no matter who I go with, my Congolese colleagues can always find someone they know - someone who knows someone who is a cousin to someone.  

A few years ago I did a health seminar in a part of the city that is quite a distance from where I live. I had a driver take me as it was a very complicated, not real safe part of town. He had to stop and get directions several times as he was not at all familiar with this particular neighborhood any more than I was. 

We drove and drove and drove, the roads got smaller and more crowded. At one point, we had to stop, ask a family if we could leave the truck in front of their house and walk the rest  of the way (about 1/2 mile) to the church. 

As we approached the church, suddenly a man, sitting randomly on the side of the road, cried out to Albert (the driver). Albert stopped, seemed very surprised and then the two men ran up to one another with enthusiastic greetings. Albert explained to me that the man had been his neighbor in another completely part of town. He had moved several years ago and they had not seen one another since......yet there they were, running into one another, remembering one another and having a jolly good time of a reunion! 

Today I had a similar experience. I had a meeting with a Congolese doctor about some research I am involved in. When I entered his office I had this vague sense of familiarity. Did I know him? Had I seen him before? Kinshasa is a city of over 10 million, so since I could not decide if we had met before or not, I just let it go. 

We exchanged pleasantries and began to discuss the reason that I was there. At one point, he brought up a past health situation in the town of Isiro. I mentioned that we used to live in Isiro (our first term). He looked at me and said "I used to live there too - when did you live there?" I explained that we were there in the 1990's and had to evacuate when the big war started. So did he......he asked where I had lived. I described where we lived and said that at the time I had 3 small children. He said "I thought you looked familiar - you were my neighbor!" He had been a busy doctor - I was a stay at home mom with 3 small kids.......we didn't have a lot of interactions, but somehow we were imprinted on one another's memory. 

We had a fun time discussing our love for Isiro and then finished the conversation. I left feeling....."known". 

Sometimes it's lonely living overseas, navigating a culture that I feel so comfortable in, yet I look so obviously the part of a stranger. But, really, in Africa, where I have lived anyway, you don't ever have to be alone. That's one thing I have grown to love. With such a value on relationships, people remember.....if you have ever crossed their path - they remember and that thin thread of time that you spent in the same GPS coordinates bonds you for the rest of your life.